Tag Archives: motivation

UNADULTERATED FREEDOM

Honestly, I’m not sure “Unadulterated Freedom” is the right title for this post. It was just something that popped into my head while I was thinking what to write. It seems to go with the theme. No limitations right I am not following some kind of guideline when it comes to naming this post. So perfect, “Unadulterated Freedom” it is.

I am reinventing the way I write this thing. Yes, I have been out for a while. I was having one of those moments that last for months. You see, I was following all of the advice of keeping a website/blog. Be consistent with the theme, find an audience, etc. etc. etc. All good advice, but also a bunch of nonsense.

I was way into my head about it trying to find a specific topic to write about each week. It froze me. I lost my interest. It felt forced.

This wasn’t meant to be forced. It was meant to be a release for me, fun to write, and hopefully fun and relatable for you to read.

Guys, I am back where all of this started for me. I started this website a couple of years ago when I moved from Boston to NYC. Right out of college, when I didn’t know what to do with my life. I started to write, I started taking acting classes, and I ended up moving to LA for a Master of Fine Arts in Acting.

I definitely didn’t see that coming when I started writing this thing.

Which taught me that sometimes life has a more exciting journey than you expect. But I was definitely resisting my creative/artistic path up until a few months ago believe it or not.

I just called it a hobby.

Not anymore. I’ve accepted that I am an actress, and a writer and all that comes along with it. It is exceptionally freeing to accept it. More than it is scary; and I’m definitely excited for what’s to come.

I will be writing here about whatever it is I want to share. Whatever I want, Encouragement, self-empowerment, self-discovery stories, life in New York, and maybe even some short stories.

Hope you are also finding your freedom.

Cheers, and stay tuned!

WHY WE LOVE BIG CITIES – I DREAM OF NY, I DREAM OF EUROPE

For a little over a year, I have been living in Los Angeles. I haven’t yet warmed up to the city to the extent that I feel comfortable to call it my home; yet, when I first arrived to Los Angeles I absolutely loved it. Why? The beaches, the weather, the mountains, the proximity to both ocean and snow, the diversity, the food, you name it! The creativity! There are so many people that come to this city with a vision of making their dreams a reality. So many artists, writers, musicians, filmmakers. I felt surrounded by people that understood my desire for a creative life. Yet, I haven’t been able to call it home.

After a long inner search, it finally dawned on me. I miss that constant novelty I got in New York City. Where all I had to do was step outside my door without worrying about a car or parking and I knew I could find a world of possibilities. An adventure awaited. LA is a big city, and unfortunately, not the best example for public transportation. There are great pockets to the city. But having to drive to them takes away from the spontaneity that I personally crave.

I am drawn to travel. I dream of a European home. Weekend trips to different cultures by simply jumping on a train; different architecture, different languages spoken. European cities are built for the human scale, for walking; for experiencing architectural beauty every few steps. I see that in my future, but for now, my craving goes to the concrete jungle in the East Coast. New York still holds my heart, even with all of its imperfections (aka. the subway at rush hour).

Turns out, my craving of novelty is a very basic human need. We are biologically disposed to want to be in locations with variety, with differences, with complexity. We all have different ways of fulfilling this need. Perhaps many don’t even realize why, or how to fill it. There is even research that suggests humans are healthier when we live among variety. That the cities of the future, especially here in the US, that are built for the bottom line, could cause even more depression – among other health issues. Boredom increases cortisol levels more than sadness.

Imagine the cumulative effects of working and living in the same dull environment. Day after day.  Ughh.

Yes, I realize this took a dark turn. It all started with a sunny happy description of Los Angeles. The wonderful city of Los Angeles. I truly do think it’s beautiful. It does need to work on it’s infrastructure for better public transportation. With so many artists in the city, I don’t think it is living up to it’s best potential just yet. For now, I am here to point this out, but I see myself moving back to New York City. After all, I know I have unfinished business with that town, and with that, be closer to my beloved Europe.

Cheers!

What do you think? How do you look for novelty in your life?

What Is It We Are Supposed To Do?

On my last post I talked about working less. Working intelligently. About making sure that our life is not centered around the idea that we have to feel busy to be fulfilled. That we need time to create. Time to be. Time to connect with the people in our lives. That being busy should not be a badge of honor. That being busy is not synonym to success.

That is all true. Something that nags at all of us at some point in our lives is not necessarily that we are busy doing something; but when we are going to be busy, what shall we be doing?

I have friends that found their passion, their life’s purpose when they were young and they have been fortunate not to change their minds. That is not my case. That is not most people’s case. 

A lot of us constantly question our choices. Decide a career or major isn’t for us. Then we ask, but which one is it? Then comes some type of fear. We fear choosing the wrong one. So we create a quiet turmoil in our heads. We go through the motions every day but we wonder. Is this really for me? Is that for me? What if I don’t like that if I leave this?

The truth is we can’t think our way to our purpose. We have to try things. We have to do. Do our way into our purpose. And for many of us who have many interests, we also have to come to peace with the idea that perhaps there isn’t just ONE THING we are supposed to do. We need to let go of that.

Our 20s is a time for self-discovery and reflection; but also for action. I realized recently that no matter how many books I read, or how many people I talk to. I cannot reflect my way into what it is that I really will love doing. I have to do. Identify something that seems interesting and work at it. Perhaps some passion will develop and it will lead to something else. Perhaps I will just learn what it is I don’t want. 

Identify those things and go do them. Then you will slowly find your way.

Why Being Wrong Should Make You Happy

This might sound counterintuitive so bare with me.

Since people love lists, I decided to make a bit of a compilation of reasons why being wrong is a good thing. Of course, this means the recognition of the mistake; given that if you are wrong, but you don’t know you are wrong… well that is a whole other subject, and not a productive one.

 

  • Realizing we are wrong opens us up for the possibility of change
  • Limiting beliefs give us comfort but are terrible long term strategies
  • Some of the most difficult moments end up being the most formative and motivating
  • Backwards Law: the more you try to be certain about something, the more uncertain and insecure you will feel
  • The more you embrace being uncertain and not knowing, the more comfortable you will feel knowing what you don’t know
  • Uncertainty removes our judgements of others
  • Uncertainty is the root of all progress and all growth -> The man who believes he knows everything learns nothing
  • The more we are wrong and recognize it, the more we gain to learn
  • Manson’s Law: The more something threatens your identity, the more you will avoid it.
  • The more something threatens to change how you view yourself, the more you will avoid getting around to doing it

This is why people are so afraid of success – for the exact same reason they are afraid of failure: it threatens who they believe themselves to be. Now we go on to the second part.

Success,

why being wrong helps you get there, and what is holding you back from it:

  • Improvement at anything is based on thousands of tiny failures
  • If we are unwilling to fail, then we are unwilling to succeed
  • We can be truly successful only at something we are unwilling to fail at
  • It’s growth that generates happiness, not a long list of arbitrary achievements
  • One must suffer pain to develop greater resilience, a stronger sense of self, increased compassion, and a generally happier life.

When you were a child you weren’t afraid of failure. Think about it. How many babies fail over and over again at something (ex: walking), yet they try again. They are not embarrassed. They are not afraid of “what mom and dad” might think. No. Avoiding failure is something we learn at some later point in life. Most of us reach a point where we are afraid to fail, and we stick only to what we’re already good at; which only confines us and stifles us.

Think about it, and I will repeat myself:

Certainty is the enemy of growth. We can be truly successful only at something we’re willing to fail at. It’s scary right? Tell me about it. I’m afraid all the time. I write this because I want to remind myself of these principles, but also you. So take note, and remind yourself of that thing that scares you. Do it. Remind yourself of these principles yet again. Do that thing that scares you*.

Cheers.

*Not suggesting anything illegal here.

Goal: Have Enough Material to Trash

Oh the irony, the irony…

I’m about to go into a post that goes against how I’ve handled this blog thus far.

See, here is the deal; I am not going to try and pretend I am doing things the right way. Because I most certainly am not. I have let my mental cobwebs settle too many times and I keep re-starting this blog instead of just keeping a steady pace.

My last post was two weeks ago on a Tuesday. Today is not Tuesday. I know it isn’t a major offense but I told myself I would post every other week on a Tuesday. See how much time I let go by?

I keep waiting for inspiration to hit me. To feel a wave of creativity wash over my body and make me sit down and write something amazing and awe-inspiring. Only, 99% of the time this is not how real life works. I know this! Yet why do I ignore it?

I get the sneaky feeling that I am not the only one who struggles with this.

I have to remember that writing – or any form of creating for that matter – is not only a way to transfer ideas from head to paper, but it’s a way of creating new ideas. We don’t have to be brilliant every time if we are consistent. The point should be to have enough material to throw in the trash time and time again.

Goals are nonsense next to the process. You have goals? Cool. Dedicate yourself to the process not the result. Want to be the next best selling author? Then make yourself want to write every single day. The second part doesn’t sound so glamorous right? This process weeds out plenty of talented contenders. You need grit. The dedication of putting in the work is what will get you anywhere.

Constant progress increases investment in a project.

So, even if I never post again (which would still prove my point, but let’s hope that’s not the case), I still want to leave you with this message: forget your goals, or at least, think about what it requires to reach your goals and focus on that.

Focus, repeat, focus, repeat.

If you are consistent you won’t have to re-start – which is pretty annoying (and embarrassing) anyway.

Bruce Lee sums up the sentiment: “If you spend too much time thinking about a thing it will never get done.”

The Price for Your New Life

  Sometimes we find ourselves in a limbo, an unstable environment that makes us feel uncomfortable. We don’t know where to look, we don’t know where to go next. We miss our comfort. We miss our order.

We forget that those two things are the enemies of growth. Remember that your new life will have an expensive cost: your old life. An unstable environment gives us a chance to break with past patterns and reinvent ourselves.

Yes, we will have to face the stuff that is not quite “cool,” or exciting about the journey.

You can give yourself the strength to go through it. You have to. One day at a time. Fear can make you make up problems in your head that are not actually real.

At least not yet. That is normal. Do not focus on that. One step at a time. Remember that you may be far from “there,” from where you want to be – but you are on your way. Tired? Rest, but do not quit.

Keep on looking ahead.