Tag Archives: fears

UNADULTERATED FREEDOM

Honestly, I’m not sure “Unadulterated Freedom” is the right title for this post. It was just something that popped into my head while I was thinking what to write. It seems to go with the theme. No limitations right I am not following some kind of guideline when it comes to naming this post. So perfect, “Unadulterated Freedom” it is.

I am reinventing the way I write this thing. Yes, I have been out for a while. I was having one of those moments that last for months. You see, I was following all of the advice of keeping a website/blog. Be consistent with the theme, find an audience, etc. etc. etc. All good advice, but also a bunch of nonsense.

I was way into my head about it trying to find a specific topic to write about each week. It froze me. I lost my interest. It felt forced.

This wasn’t meant to be forced. It was meant to be a release for me, fun to write, and hopefully fun and relatable for you to read.

Guys, I am back where all of this started for me. I started this website a couple of years ago when I moved from Boston to NYC. Right out of college, when I didn’t know what to do with my life. I started to write, I started taking acting classes, and I ended up moving to LA for a Master of Fine Arts in Acting.

I definitely didn’t see that coming when I started writing this thing.

Which taught me that sometimes life has a more exciting journey than you expect. But I was definitely resisting my creative/artistic path up until a few months ago believe it or not.

I just called it a hobby.

Not anymore. I’ve accepted that I am an actress, and a writer and all that comes along with it. It is exceptionally freeing to accept it. More than it is scary; and I’m definitely excited for what’s to come.

I will be writing here about whatever it is I want to share. Whatever I want, Encouragement, self-empowerment, self-discovery stories, life in New York, and maybe even some short stories.

Hope you are also finding your freedom.

Cheers, and stay tuned!

What Is It We Are Supposed To Do?

On my last post I talked about working less. Working intelligently. About making sure that our life is not centered around the idea that we have to feel busy to be fulfilled. That we need time to create. Time to be. Time to connect with the people in our lives. That being busy should not be a badge of honor. That being busy is not synonym to success.

That is all true. Something that nags at all of us at some point in our lives is not necessarily that we are busy doing something; but when we are going to be busy, what shall we be doing?

I have friends that found their passion, their life’s purpose when they were young and they have been fortunate not to change their minds. That is not my case. That is not most people’s case. 

A lot of us constantly question our choices. Decide a career or major isn’t for us. Then we ask, but which one is it? Then comes some type of fear. We fear choosing the wrong one. So we create a quiet turmoil in our heads. We go through the motions every day but we wonder. Is this really for me? Is that for me? What if I don’t like that if I leave this?

The truth is we can’t think our way to our purpose. We have to try things. We have to do. Do our way into our purpose. And for many of us who have many interests, we also have to come to peace with the idea that perhaps there isn’t just ONE THING we are supposed to do. We need to let go of that.

Our 20s is a time for self-discovery and reflection; but also for action. I realized recently that no matter how many books I read, or how many people I talk to. I cannot reflect my way into what it is that I really will love doing. I have to do. Identify something that seems interesting and work at it. Perhaps some passion will develop and it will lead to something else. Perhaps I will just learn what it is I don’t want. 

Identify those things and go do them. Then you will slowly find your way.

Olive Oil, and the Paradox of Choice

Picture yourself in a grand supermarket. Filled with options; in what seems like hundreds of aisles. Dozens of different options of olive oil imported from Southern Italy. Virgin, extra-virgin, with truffle, light, cold-pressed, stone milled, organic… It really is spectacular. And just like the options in olive oil there are dozens of different types of bread, crackers, chocolate bars, cereals. Sounds great right? You almost want to take a picture…and maybe you do.

Now what? You are in a supermarket, you probably didn’t come here with the purpose of a sightseeing trip. You are there to buy your groceries and leave. Buy what you need. Shouldn’t take too much thought. Suddenly you find yourself overwhelmed with possibilities. Which olive oil do you choose? Which loaf of bread? Do you just grab one without a second thought? Do you look at the price? Calories? Amount of sodium? Do you just stare in quiet desperation while your brain slowly explodes? These are all possibilities.

Even though this could be a totally realistic post about the experience of going to a hyper-supermarket; I am only illustrating the Paradox of Choice. Which exists in many aspects of our lives. From going grocery shopping, to picking a movie on Netflix, to the even scarier life decision of picking a career.

We think having a infinite amount of choices is great. And yes, it is, for a short while. Until we get to the point in our life where we can’t make a decision. Or we avoid making one with the expectation something better might come along. Keeping our options open. Forever…

The reality is that the more options we are given, the less satisfied we are going to feel with whatever we choose. And no, this isn’t just me saying this; there are several studies that back this claim. This could mean that after a choice is made, you could spend years second-guessing yourself. Did you make the right choice? As I mentioned before, many of us simply resort to not making any type of choice at all. We keep our options open by avoiding any type of commitment. This can be true in both our careers and our personal lives.

Should I go into marketing? Or should I be a writer? Or maybe an actress? Maybe I could be a speaker. The list goes on…

The truth is, as Mark Manson puts it: pursuing a breadth of experience denies us the opportunity to experience the rewards of depth of experience. The truth is, commitment to a choice can give you even more freedom than you imagine because you are no longer distracted by the unimportant and frivolous. Making a choice hones your attention and focus, as you are directed to be more efficient at what actually makes you healthy and happy. And achieve even more success.

The rejection of alternatives can feel quite liberating, you just have to understand the benefits and step away from the all the marketing hype and the shiny objects that will distract you for a short while. Go to a farmer’s market perhaps. Choose an olive oil out of the 6 options you are given, not out of the 50+. I guarantee your dinner will be more successful.

The Price for Your New Life

  Sometimes we find ourselves in a limbo, an unstable environment that makes us feel uncomfortable. We don’t know where to look, we don’t know where to go next. We miss our comfort. We miss our order.

We forget that those two things are the enemies of growth. Remember that your new life will have an expensive cost: your old life. An unstable environment gives us a chance to break with past patterns and reinvent ourselves.

Yes, we will have to face the stuff that is not quite “cool,” or exciting about the journey.

You can give yourself the strength to go through it. You have to. One day at a time. Fear can make you make up problems in your head that are not actually real.

At least not yet. That is normal. Do not focus on that. One step at a time. Remember that you may be far from “there,” from where you want to be – but you are on your way. Tired? Rest, but do not quit.

Keep on looking ahead.