Monthly Archives: August 2016

Darling… It’s not just about the Food

Photo by: Steph Hansman

Photo by: Steph Hansman

I like to think we are all students of life. Some students take a more active role than others I would say. Sometimes you don’t even know if you are doing it right. 

Are other people doing this thing called life better than me?! I don’t know, you might wonder. I have definitely wondered. 

Others just kind of absentmindedly go through. Doing the bare minimum just to get through the day. Just to pass the class. 

I mean you could really always make analogies about academic life and dating life. I picked academic today. 

Anyway, today I read something that struck a cord: Health is not only about what you eat, but also about what you say. 

Dang. 

I mean, how many times do people criticize and berate themselves while they are eating a healthy diet (or trying to). They insult their physical appearance because they don’t look the way they want to look – and therefore they do not feel good. 

Photo by: Elizabeth Otaola

Photo by: Elizabeth Otaola

How does anyone expect to feel good and healthy if they are always feeding themselves negative thoughts? 

Yeah they say health is 70% diet and 20% exercise. That won’t matter at all if your head is not in the right place. 

#justsaying 

This obviously goes beyond dieting but that was the most straightforward way to explain it to my fellow students. 

Hey! Btw, if you are also wondering how you are doing with life. Good for you! At least you are trying. But no comparisons people! Seriously. Everyone is going through a different path. 

Alright, I will end this post with this photograph so it’s not too cheesy 😉 

Artist: Sake

Artist: Sake

Cheers!

When something “Gets Under Your Skin”

"When others judge you, they define themselves"

“When others judge you, they define themselves”

Let me tell you a little story… 

Recently I had a very awkward encounter with someone I have considered a friend for a while. I felt the cold shoulder from this person; I hadn’t done anything to piss her off (that I was aware of). So what was her deal?! 

Her deal was, that for months she accumulated little things that I did that bothered her about me, and so she kept silent. She didn’t want to make things awkward, she wanted to avoid a disagreement with me. Finally it caught up with her, and she couldn’t hide her true feeling anymore so she took distance. 

Obviously I noticed. This had happened before with her, and I had asked her to please from now on tell me when things bother her. She didn’t. She swept them under the rug.

People, please don’t do this. 

Funny thing is, one of the things that bothered her about me was that it seems that I avoid confrontation when I disagree with someone. Mmmm wait a minute here…

There is a great quote by Dr. Wayne Dyer that I discovered not too long ago. It reads: “When you judge another. you do not define them, you define yourself.”

In the past I have been called argumentative by plenty of people, and I know this about myself. If i disagree with someone, there is a high possibility I will be sending them scientific studies later that day proving why I am right and they are wrong… Sometimes I come off a little intense I have to admit. So I have learned to pick my battles. 

Ex. My acting professor eats meat, I don’t. He thinks being vegan is ridiculous. I am not vegan but I agree with the vegan lifestyle. Do I want to start an argument with a professor about why veganism is simply healthier than a meat diet? Not really, This is not worth my energy, or my time. Most the time you have to let people come to their own conclusions instead of shoving them down their throats. 

I digress. I found it so very interesting the things my friend was pointing out about me. Some of these things I recognized and understood, others were completely foreign to me.

When something bothers us about someone, and I mean REALLY bothers us. To the point that we give our own energy thinking about this thing that person does. Thinking about it, talking about it, getting upset about it. We have to look inside ourselves. There is a big chance that that THING, that annoying thing, is something that actually bothers us about ourselves, or a quality that we used to have that we are still running from. It is called mirroring. The Mirror Theory.

It’s a thing guys look it up. 

Think about it, that person that you find really hard to talk to, doesn’t bother the next guy just as much. The next guy really thinks Johnny is impossible, but you have no issue with Johnny. So what gives?

When we see faults in others, it is an opportunity for self-reflection. 

IMG_4240

One last thing… some of these times, we will assume a quality about someone else based on something they have done or said. We don’t give the person the benefit of the doubt. We assume she is selfish because she did this or she did that. 

Why don’t we take the time to find out why they acted a certain way? because it is easier and instinctual to create a judgement. 

After the conversation I had with my friend, she ended by saying that I shouldn’t doubt any of the good qualities I have; because in that sense she thought highly of me. I replied that I don’t doubt any of them, that even though I understand where she is coming from I also understand that the way she views me reflects back to her. I am not perfect, you are not perfect either, that guy in the corner is not perfect. Many of the things she said were purely taken from circumstantial assumptions. Things that I do not believe are true.

So I guess what I am trying to say here… get to know yourself first. Love yourself, work on yourself. Eventually outside whispers about you will fade into the background and your decisions in life will never be held prisoner to whatever “they” will say. 

Cheers!

What is so scary about our immediate reality?!

Who knows, I might be stepping on a few toes here but tough luck.

Why on earth are people so afraid to make a connection in the real world? You know, the world outside of the virtual space that we all know and love. 

Facebook is great. Social media is great. Love it. I can connect with someone who is on the other side of the world, I can share ideas with people I otherwise would have never met.

That is all FREAKING FANTASTIC. RIGHT?!

Yes it is, don’t fight me on this. 

The problem comes in when we let our virtual reality hinder our physical one. When we are afraid of the physical and immediate space and so we seclude to our laptops, cellphones, or whatever else the kids are doing…

Picture this scenario: you see someone on a regular basis, they seem cool, friendly, someone you might want to be friends with. What do you do? You add them on Facebook and then when you see them again you don’t talk to them. Wtf. 

I’m sorry but WTF. 

Why? Why do people do this? I am genuinely concerned here. 

Ok so you are shy. It happens. But what is the point of having people on Facebook if you have never had a 5 minute conversation with them. 

Darling, social connections are great. They can enrich our lives in many ways; personally and professionally. Have people on your networks! I encourage you! But if you never took the time, not even a minute of your day to cultivate that relationship. It will never go anywhere. 

Photo by: Elizabeth Otaola

Photo by: Elizabeth Otaola

Use social media wisely. When you are with family, with friends, with your boo ;). Be fully friggin’ present!! 

Cheers ✌🏻️

Go ahead… Eat those FRIESSS

Hey you! Yes, you darling. The one who tries to eat healthy all the time. You eat your fruits, your veggies, your complex carbs, maybe even drink your tea every day and know what drinking kombucha does for your body. 

Occasionally you are tempted, you are human after all. Look at all your friends eating slices of pizza or bars of snickers. Sigh. Maybe your friends are all holistic eaters, and/or vegans. If not, well, your job to keep a healthy lifestyle is just tougher. 

Amiright?

Probs. 

Anyway, I just wanted to tell you: eat those friggin’ french fries. You know you want them. 

You are out to lunch with your friends, you know you’ve been eating healthy all week. Then your friend Patricia orders eggs Benedict with a side of fries. She’s all like: “Have as many as you want!”

You start feeling all this guilt after you do. DON’T

You’ve probably heard this before but life is all about balance. Keep your healthy habits. You go! 

Occasionally you will be tempted. Occasionally have the friggin’ chocolate, or ice cream, or friessss. Those fries though. 

Now don’t go eating the fries every day and then come blaming me. Nah. Keep your body in balance. Don’t restrict yourself too much or you’ll drive yourself crazy. 

Alright, good talk. Now i’ve got to go I have a salad to finish. 

Cheers!

Wake up at 5:30 am. Commute. Repeat.

Photography by: Elizabeth OtaolaFor the last couple of weeks NYC has turned into one of the most stressful cities I have ever lived in. For the fist time in over a year I have come to understand why day in and day out hundreds of people feel exhausted enough to nap during the commute in the subway.

I decided that everyday I would do something different that would change my life in the long run; and I am not talking about my schooling or my freelance job. I decided to find my creative voice and do something about it for 100 days. I also decided to require to a 3 month long fitness routine that would require me to do some sort of exercise 6 times a week. Between school, work, and my much beloved sleep, I would normally decide that I did not have the time. I was also moving out of my apartment… so packing, transporting, selling, added a lot of stress. This time however, I decided not to make excuses for myself. I am no longer going to “postpone” it to when the timing is better.

I had to get into the mindset that the time to start is now. So I started.

I have had to prioritize. Wake up early. Neglect my night clubbing life entirely (which btw I am happier without). I’ve had to wake up at 5.30 am to get things done; and I have been consistent.

Why?

Mostly because I’ve stopped making excuses for myself. I have also recognized that a lot of my non-committal nature (be it to creative projects, fitness, etc.) was due to fear.IMG_4907 Fear of failure, judgement… My non-committal nature wasn’t because of laziness – and this is not a ME problem, may of us struggle with this.

The fact that I was able to identify the problem was what allowed me the freedom to follow up with an idea.

I don’t have to deal with moving out of my apartment anymore. That’s done; but being able to stick to my vlogging, plus school, plus work, all together, was my test. A test that I passed. If I can do it then, I can do it now.

It really wasn’t NYC’s fault that my life was so stressful, but it certainly didn’t make it easy for me 😉

Cheers!